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Offering In-Person, Phone or Online Counseling, call us (727) 946-1346

Arguments: Do You Avoid Them At All Costs?

Let’s also be honest with the fact arguments are part of relationships, particularly when love is involved. However, I think some couples, at least ones that I have seen at the Trinity Relationship Center truly do not want to engage in any argument at all in their relationship.

Let’s be honest here, an argument is not fun nor do we really want to have one.

Let’s also be honest with the fact arguments are part of relationships, particularly when love is involved. However, I think some couples, at least ones that I have seen at the Trinity Relationship Center truly do not want to engage in any argument at all in their relationship.

This is not good and will eventually lead to many problems in the relationship.

Some partners might pretend or fake being nice to each other just to get the situation over. Here’s why this does not work. It ends with unprocessed anger, resentment and loathing.

This will potentially lead to another argument and might even be worse because the last one was not resolved.

So, in order to help you and your partner’s relationship, I suggest keeping these things in mind when working through arguments:

Tone-Your tone of voice does matter, a lot. It is about what you say and also how you say it.  When arguing keep in mind that you loved them before you got mad and as soon as you relieve your anger, you will love them again. Practice in your mind what you want to say and to deliver it with love and compassion.

Listen-The key to listening is the ability to hear in a non-judgmental way. After some time repeat and ask if you heard them correctly. Remember, the goal for both the speaker and listener is to understand each other. They must feel that when they tell you something, it will be received by you in the proper spirit.

Patience-Granted, it’s hard to remember this in the heat of the moment. But stopping to take a few deep breaths, and deciding to take a break and revisit the discussion when tensions are not as high, can sometimes be the best way to deal with the immediate situation.

Compromise-This means that both of you will have to give in a bit to come to the resolution. If you have facts to back up your opinions, state them.  Facts aren’t personal or emotional. A compromise doesn’t have to be equal to be acceptable.

Instead of seeing conflict as a threat to a relationship, what if we saw it as an opportunity and a sign of growth in a relationship?

The main question that you have to ask yourself in an argument with your partner is this “Which is more important, winning … or the relationship?”